It's Complicated (S2): WK 4 - TUE
WARNING: Today’s topic touches on rape and abuse. If you have struggled with these issues, please proceed with caution. If you are triggered in any way, you can ask for help by reaching out to a pastor at your local campus, requesting a referral at office@crosswalkvillage.com, or by calling the Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.4673.
2 Samuel 11:2-5 NASB
Now when evening came David arose from his bed and walked around on the roof of the
king’s house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very
beautiful in appearance. So David sent and inquired about the woman. And one
said “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”
David sent messengers and took her, and when she came to him, he lay with her;
and when she had purified herself from her uncleanness, she returned to her house.
The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, “I am pregnant.”
It is helpful to notice the verbs used in this fairly literal NASB translation of today’s passage describing David’s actions. He saw, he inquired, he took, and he lay. His problems develop gradually from the initial moment of observing a woman to full, undeniable transgression. It is difficult to escape the sense of possession and objectification that overtakes him.
This makes me wonder: is the first step in an adulterous affair often, or even always, to objectify another person for our pleasure, conquest, distraction, or healing? The murder of Uriah is similar. David treats both the husband and the wife as chess pieces for his selfish interests. They are his to manipulate, his to possess, his to take. Last week, we asked what it takes to reach the point of murder. The same question can be asked of adultery: does it require dehumanization and objectification?
There is an additional dark cloud over this story. While commentators debate whether Bathsheba is complicit in the affair, several troubling factors are clear. We know that women can be just as willing as men to break marriage vows. It’s possible she intentionally puts herself in David’s line of sight, responds happily to the king’s messengers, and quickly joins him in bed with a heart forged by adulterous betrayal. However, we can’t ignore that the power imbalance between them is significant. Refusing his advances could lead to serious consequences, including the murder of her husband, albeit for different reasons. The language describing Bathsheba’s role is passive, making it read like something is being done to her rather than by her. Then, she sends the king the terse message: “I am pregnant.” Is she essentially saying, “Now look what you’ve done. You have more than violated me—you've made me a disgrace to my husband.” Finally, when she learns of Uriah’s death, she mourns rather than experiencing relief. Honestly, there is as much evidence of coercive sex or even rape as there is of consensual adultery.
Many things get ruined during those few days. The once admirable king makes small compromises, succumbs to temptation, and embraces power and entitlement to take what isn’t his. Then, as often happens, there are consequences to deal with. Making things even worse, David involves other good people. The cover-up creates a whole group of deceitful, murderous allies. Could there be a more powerful example of God’s warning that sin kills—first on the inside, then, eventually, spreading to your wider community?
Hopefully, you're not contemplating an affair or murder. But you might be using dehumanizing language in an online argument, treating someone as less valuable than your loved ones, or thinking about how to manipulate someone for your gain. If so, while you still have time, repent, seek forgiveness, and turn to Jesus.
1. Have you or someone you love experienced the kinds of abuse suggested in this
story? Who have you turned to for healing and relief? What passages of scripture
bring you hope?
2. Do you connect with this story because of something you've done? Is there
something you need to confess, make right, or seek counseling for?
2 Samuel 11:2-5 NASB
Now when evening came David arose from his bed and walked around on the roof of the
king’s house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very
beautiful in appearance. So David sent and inquired about the woman. And one
said “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”
David sent messengers and took her, and when she came to him, he lay with her;
and when she had purified herself from her uncleanness, she returned to her house.
The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, “I am pregnant.”
It is helpful to notice the verbs used in this fairly literal NASB translation of today’s passage describing David’s actions. He saw, he inquired, he took, and he lay. His problems develop gradually from the initial moment of observing a woman to full, undeniable transgression. It is difficult to escape the sense of possession and objectification that overtakes him.
This makes me wonder: is the first step in an adulterous affair often, or even always, to objectify another person for our pleasure, conquest, distraction, or healing? The murder of Uriah is similar. David treats both the husband and the wife as chess pieces for his selfish interests. They are his to manipulate, his to possess, his to take. Last week, we asked what it takes to reach the point of murder. The same question can be asked of adultery: does it require dehumanization and objectification?
There is an additional dark cloud over this story. While commentators debate whether Bathsheba is complicit in the affair, several troubling factors are clear. We know that women can be just as willing as men to break marriage vows. It’s possible she intentionally puts herself in David’s line of sight, responds happily to the king’s messengers, and quickly joins him in bed with a heart forged by adulterous betrayal. However, we can’t ignore that the power imbalance between them is significant. Refusing his advances could lead to serious consequences, including the murder of her husband, albeit for different reasons. The language describing Bathsheba’s role is passive, making it read like something is being done to her rather than by her. Then, she sends the king the terse message: “I am pregnant.” Is she essentially saying, “Now look what you’ve done. You have more than violated me—you've made me a disgrace to my husband.” Finally, when she learns of Uriah’s death, she mourns rather than experiencing relief. Honestly, there is as much evidence of coercive sex or even rape as there is of consensual adultery.
Many things get ruined during those few days. The once admirable king makes small compromises, succumbs to temptation, and embraces power and entitlement to take what isn’t his. Then, as often happens, there are consequences to deal with. Making things even worse, David involves other good people. The cover-up creates a whole group of deceitful, murderous allies. Could there be a more powerful example of God’s warning that sin kills—first on the inside, then, eventually, spreading to your wider community?
Hopefully, you're not contemplating an affair or murder. But you might be using dehumanizing language in an online argument, treating someone as less valuable than your loved ones, or thinking about how to manipulate someone for your gain. If so, while you still have time, repent, seek forgiveness, and turn to Jesus.
1. Have you or someone you love experienced the kinds of abuse suggested in this
story? Who have you turned to for healing and relief? What passages of scripture
bring you hope?
2. Do you connect with this story because of something you've done? Is there
something you need to confess, make right, or seek counseling for?
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