It's Complicated (S2): WK 5 - MON
WARNING: This week’s topic will introduce acts of rape and abuse by family members. If you have struggled with these things, please proceed with caution. If you are triggered in any way, or realize you need more help, you may reach out to a pastor at your local campus, or call the Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.4673.
Life is messy, broken, complicated, and painful. This world is not the one God designed for us back in the Garden of Eden. And though there is beauty to celebrate, there is also evil that will one day be eradicated. Whatever we have experienced or are experienced or will experience, part of the hope we share with one another is in the coming day when God Himself will announce, “[God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4, NIV)
I mentioned him in week one, but I love the importance Eddie Jacku, WWII holocaust survivor, puts on hope. He says, “Hope costs us nothing, but it changes everything.” So I put my hope in Jesus, His resurrection, and in where I know our story is going even through our darkest times.
And that line from Revelation 21:4, know that it’s what God wants. That’s what He’s working towards. In the meantime, we have some pretty awful stuff that was never a part of His plan for us, that we have to navigate on this earth from time to time because of evil.
The story for this week is one of those things, and I’ll admit, it’s not a story I like spending time with. That said, like with any story, there are things we can learn from it for our life today.
The other preface I’ll give to you before diving into the story, is to recognize that the clearest revelation of God you and I have been given, is Jesus. When we wonder what God is like, we look to Jesus. When we wonder if God is really loving, we look to Jesus on the cross, laying His life down for ours. So when we read through some of the painful stories of humanity, just know that our God loves us more than we can imagine, meets us in our pain, our grief, and the horrible things we’ve endured, and seeks to bring hope and healing back into our lives.
With that said, imperfect as it may be, let us read today’s story from 2 Samuel 13…
2 Samuel 13:1-7
1 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half
brother, fell desperately in love with her.
2 Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and
Amnon thought he could never have her.
3 But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s
brother Shimea.
4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king
look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with
Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
5 “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill.
When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some
food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you
with her own hands.”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him,
Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I
watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.”
7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him.
This has all the makings of a very bad story. An unhealthy obsession, a half-brother who is obviously not well, and a cousin willing to conspire to horrific ends.
Oddly, we also see a loving father who is concerned for his sick son, who unknowingly opens the door for how the rest of this story will unfold. But if we’re honest, David had a weakness for women that caused him to make some bad choices too (remember Uriah and Bathsheba?). So though this loving father will soon have a shattered heart, he is not without blame.
Family trauma and cycles don’t break on their own; they get passed on from generation to generation until someone is brave enough to confront them and choose a different route. May we have the courage to be those kinds of people, people that choose to seek whatever means we can to be the best versions of ourselves, which is the best gift we can ever give to another person. And as followers of Jesus, we think He helps us to that end, and He has given us incredible resources like counselors, social workers, doctors, teachers, pastors, and faith communities that can help us along the way.
1. If you know enough about your family history, are there cycles or trauma that
happened in the past that have been broken along the way? If so, do you know
how that happened?
2. How do you think Jesus helps us become the best version of ourselves? What does
this process look like?
3. What do you think Amnon could have done differently to avoid a different outcome in
this story, one that could have been redemptive for him and for Tamar?
Life is messy, broken, complicated, and painful. This world is not the one God designed for us back in the Garden of Eden. And though there is beauty to celebrate, there is also evil that will one day be eradicated. Whatever we have experienced or are experienced or will experience, part of the hope we share with one another is in the coming day when God Himself will announce, “[God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4, NIV)
I mentioned him in week one, but I love the importance Eddie Jacku, WWII holocaust survivor, puts on hope. He says, “Hope costs us nothing, but it changes everything.” So I put my hope in Jesus, His resurrection, and in where I know our story is going even through our darkest times.
And that line from Revelation 21:4, know that it’s what God wants. That’s what He’s working towards. In the meantime, we have some pretty awful stuff that was never a part of His plan for us, that we have to navigate on this earth from time to time because of evil.
The story for this week is one of those things, and I’ll admit, it’s not a story I like spending time with. That said, like with any story, there are things we can learn from it for our life today.
The other preface I’ll give to you before diving into the story, is to recognize that the clearest revelation of God you and I have been given, is Jesus. When we wonder what God is like, we look to Jesus. When we wonder if God is really loving, we look to Jesus on the cross, laying His life down for ours. So when we read through some of the painful stories of humanity, just know that our God loves us more than we can imagine, meets us in our pain, our grief, and the horrible things we’ve endured, and seeks to bring hope and healing back into our lives.
With that said, imperfect as it may be, let us read today’s story from 2 Samuel 13…
2 Samuel 13:1-7
1 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half
brother, fell desperately in love with her.
2 Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and
Amnon thought he could never have her.
3 But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s
brother Shimea.
4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king
look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with
Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
5 “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill.
When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some
food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you
with her own hands.”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him,
Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I
watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.”
7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him.
This has all the makings of a very bad story. An unhealthy obsession, a half-brother who is obviously not well, and a cousin willing to conspire to horrific ends.
Oddly, we also see a loving father who is concerned for his sick son, who unknowingly opens the door for how the rest of this story will unfold. But if we’re honest, David had a weakness for women that caused him to make some bad choices too (remember Uriah and Bathsheba?). So though this loving father will soon have a shattered heart, he is not without blame.
Family trauma and cycles don’t break on their own; they get passed on from generation to generation until someone is brave enough to confront them and choose a different route. May we have the courage to be those kinds of people, people that choose to seek whatever means we can to be the best versions of ourselves, which is the best gift we can ever give to another person. And as followers of Jesus, we think He helps us to that end, and He has given us incredible resources like counselors, social workers, doctors, teachers, pastors, and faith communities that can help us along the way.
1. If you know enough about your family history, are there cycles or trauma that
happened in the past that have been broken along the way? If so, do you know
how that happened?
2. How do you think Jesus helps us become the best version of ourselves? What does
this process look like?
3. What do you think Amnon could have done differently to avoid a different outcome in
this story, one that could have been redemptive for him and for Tamar?
By Paddy McCoy
Crosswalk Portland
Download PDF Versions of our Series Guides
Daily Study Podcast
CRSWLK Kids Daily Devotional
The Abide Daily Podcast
Thank You for Supporting the Ministry of Crosswalk
Posted in 2 Samuel
No Comments