It's Complicated (S2): WK 5 - TUE
WARNING: Today’s topic specifically deals with rape and abuse. Again, if you have struggled with these things, please proceed with caution. If you are triggered in any way, or realize you need more help, you may reach out to a pastor at your local campus, or call the Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.4673.
2 Samuel 13:8-14
8 When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down
so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him.
9 But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of
here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left.
10 Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.”
So Tamar took his favorite dish to him.
11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my
darling sister.”
12 “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things
aren’t done in Israel.
13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in
Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”
14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her.
Talk about a gut punch. I hate reading this story and I really hate the horror of those last three words in verse 14. All I can think is, these kinds of things were never supposed to be a part of our story.
I don’t know if you, or someone close to you, has been raped or sexually assaulted. So many victims end up blaming themselves, and they live with the same word Tamar uses in verse 13, shame. The word in the Hebrew is kher-pah, which can also be translated as disgrace. It is a sense of unworthiness, and it causes us to shrink away from others, even those who have shown us nothing but love and kindness.
This is why I make sure people know that shame is not a tool God would ever use on you. Why would God put something on you that would make you feel like you couldn’t come to Him? Everything He has ever done is about drawing you near. No, shame is a tool of the devil and must be rebuked in the name of Jesus. If God is the God of amazing grace, then disgrace is the opposite; it is not of God.
But there is something else to discuss in today’s story. Amnon became obsessed with Tamar, to the point that he was willing to do anything to have her, even justifying violence and rape. We’ll see in the coming verses what his consequences would be, but we all need people in our lives that can speak truth into our lives and help us see where we may be in err. Sometimes, we’re too close to see these things ourselves. This is why community is so important for all of us, but ever so important in the community of faith. I’m not saying Amnon did what he did because he didn’t have a community to tell him to stop it, I’m just saying we need each other to help us from becoming the worst versions of ourselves.
And to the women reading this story, may you never blame yourselves for the things that have been done to you that should never have been done to you. You are all beautiful children of God, yet this world can be such an evil place. Don’t let the world steal your beauty or your strength. And if someone has tried, please, I pray you find the courage to get the help you need to have your strength restored, and that you would let God remind you of what’s most true about you - you are his daughter, in whom He loves, and with whom He is well pleased. Did we say that already in this series? Good! We’ll say it as many times as it takes until you start to believe it.
1. I’m guessing we’ve all fought shame at some point in our lives. How do you fight
shame when it tries to rear its head in your life?
2. Do you have people in your life that you know love and care about you enough to
help redirect your path when you’re heading down a road you may regret?
3. There is no more healing place than in the arms of Jesus. I pray you have a place and
a community that helps you know that you are wrapped in His arms, always.
2 Samuel 13:8-14
8 When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down
so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him.
9 But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of
here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left.
10 Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.”
So Tamar took his favorite dish to him.
11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my
darling sister.”
12 “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things
aren’t done in Israel.
13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in
Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”
14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her.
Talk about a gut punch. I hate reading this story and I really hate the horror of those last three words in verse 14. All I can think is, these kinds of things were never supposed to be a part of our story.
I don’t know if you, or someone close to you, has been raped or sexually assaulted. So many victims end up blaming themselves, and they live with the same word Tamar uses in verse 13, shame. The word in the Hebrew is kher-pah, which can also be translated as disgrace. It is a sense of unworthiness, and it causes us to shrink away from others, even those who have shown us nothing but love and kindness.
This is why I make sure people know that shame is not a tool God would ever use on you. Why would God put something on you that would make you feel like you couldn’t come to Him? Everything He has ever done is about drawing you near. No, shame is a tool of the devil and must be rebuked in the name of Jesus. If God is the God of amazing grace, then disgrace is the opposite; it is not of God.
But there is something else to discuss in today’s story. Amnon became obsessed with Tamar, to the point that he was willing to do anything to have her, even justifying violence and rape. We’ll see in the coming verses what his consequences would be, but we all need people in our lives that can speak truth into our lives and help us see where we may be in err. Sometimes, we’re too close to see these things ourselves. This is why community is so important for all of us, but ever so important in the community of faith. I’m not saying Amnon did what he did because he didn’t have a community to tell him to stop it, I’m just saying we need each other to help us from becoming the worst versions of ourselves.
And to the women reading this story, may you never blame yourselves for the things that have been done to you that should never have been done to you. You are all beautiful children of God, yet this world can be such an evil place. Don’t let the world steal your beauty or your strength. And if someone has tried, please, I pray you find the courage to get the help you need to have your strength restored, and that you would let God remind you of what’s most true about you - you are his daughter, in whom He loves, and with whom He is well pleased. Did we say that already in this series? Good! We’ll say it as many times as it takes until you start to believe it.
1. I’m guessing we’ve all fought shame at some point in our lives. How do you fight
shame when it tries to rear its head in your life?
2. Do you have people in your life that you know love and care about you enough to
help redirect your path when you’re heading down a road you may regret?
3. There is no more healing place than in the arms of Jesus. I pray you have a place and
a community that helps you know that you are wrapped in His arms, always.
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