UN/Broken - Day 19
One of the hardest things about beginning the journey out of the darkness and into the light of feeling whole in our mental health is the ability to be vulnerable. Vulnerability can be tricky, especially when we don’t feel safe or deeply fear rejection. However, as mentioned in week one, our secrets keep us sick, so we need to begin to share if we will start the journey towards healing.
One of our biggest fears of vulnerability is admitting to another person that we can’t make it on our own. We are raised to be self-sufficient self-reliant, to pull
ourselves up by our bootstraps. But amid our mental health and spiritual attacks, admitting that we can’t fight the battle alone is critical.
As I considered this topic, my mind drifted to King Saul's story.
If you know Saul’s story, you know he was chosen to be the first king of Israel. But things didn’t go as planned, and in 1 Samuel 16, something changes in Saul. We read, “Now the Spirit of the Lord had left Saul, and the Lord sent a tormenting spirit that filled him with depression and fear.” 1 Samuel 16:14 NLT
Saul went from being anointed to being tormented. Sounds like he spent a week or two as a pastor.
Did God send the tormenting spirit? Well, that’s debatable, and it doesn’t sound like something the God we see throughout Scripture would do. But you have to understand the worldview of the Hebrews of this time. They believed that God was all-powerful and that if God didn’t stop something from happening, then God was seen as the one who did that something.
Regardless of the source of it, however, Saul was tormented and was often filled with depression and fear. He discovered that one of the only things that helped him was music. Long story short, Saul was led to a young shepherd named David, who had a talent for playing the harp. Saul learned to be vulnerable in his struggle, and when he was at his worst, he would call for David to come and play.
“And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp. Then Saul would feel better, and the tormenting spirit would go away.” 1 Samuel 16:21-23 NLT
But we also know that Saul became jealous of David as the people began to see David as the better leader. Saul tried to kill David many times, even though David was the only one who could help him. We are often our own worst enemies.
Asking for help can be one of the most challenging things you can do, but it is the beginning of the road to healing.
QUESTION
• What are you afraid of someone finding out about you?
• What are some of the things that help you find peace and calm when life is tormenting you? • Is there someone you can practice being more vulnerable with today?
One of our biggest fears of vulnerability is admitting to another person that we can’t make it on our own. We are raised to be self-sufficient self-reliant, to pull
ourselves up by our bootstraps. But amid our mental health and spiritual attacks, admitting that we can’t fight the battle alone is critical.
As I considered this topic, my mind drifted to King Saul's story.
If you know Saul’s story, you know he was chosen to be the first king of Israel. But things didn’t go as planned, and in 1 Samuel 16, something changes in Saul. We read, “Now the Spirit of the Lord had left Saul, and the Lord sent a tormenting spirit that filled him with depression and fear.” 1 Samuel 16:14 NLT
Saul went from being anointed to being tormented. Sounds like he spent a week or two as a pastor.
Did God send the tormenting spirit? Well, that’s debatable, and it doesn’t sound like something the God we see throughout Scripture would do. But you have to understand the worldview of the Hebrews of this time. They believed that God was all-powerful and that if God didn’t stop something from happening, then God was seen as the one who did that something.
Regardless of the source of it, however, Saul was tormented and was often filled with depression and fear. He discovered that one of the only things that helped him was music. Long story short, Saul was led to a young shepherd named David, who had a talent for playing the harp. Saul learned to be vulnerable in his struggle, and when he was at his worst, he would call for David to come and play.
“And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp. Then Saul would feel better, and the tormenting spirit would go away.” 1 Samuel 16:21-23 NLT
But we also know that Saul became jealous of David as the people began to see David as the better leader. Saul tried to kill David many times, even though David was the only one who could help him. We are often our own worst enemies.
Asking for help can be one of the most challenging things you can do, but it is the beginning of the road to healing.
QUESTION
• What are you afraid of someone finding out about you?
• What are some of the things that help you find peace and calm when life is tormenting you? • Is there someone you can practice being more vulnerable with today?
By Pastor Paddy McCoy
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