2 Samuel 13:34b-39 34…Then the watchman on the Jerusalem wall saw a great crowd coming down the hill on the road from the west. He ran to tell the king, “I see a crowd of people coming from the Horonaim road along the side of the hill.” 35 “Look” Jonadab told the king. “There they are now The king’s sons are coming, just as I said.” 36 They soon arrived, weeping and sobbing, and the king and all his servants wept bitterly with them. 37 And David mourned many days for his son Amnon. Absalom fled to his grandfather, Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. 38 He stayed there in Geshur for three years. 39 And King David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom. I know this story doesn’t mention Tamar again after she goes to Absalom’s house where we are told she lived desolate, or ruined. However, as a father to a daughter, I like to imagine that David went to Tamar and tried to console her and love her back to a place of healing and hope. That’s what I like to believe happened...  Read More

2 Samuel 13:23-34a 23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheep were being sheared at Baal-hazor near Ephraim, Absalom invited all the king’s sons to come to a feast. 24 He went to the king and said, “My sheep-shearers are now at work. Would the king and his servants please come to celebrate the occasion with me?” 25 The king replied, “No, my son. If we all came, we would be too much of a burden on you.” Absalom pressed him, but the king would not come, though he gave Absalom his blessing. 26 “Well, then,” Absalom said, “if you can’t come, how about sending my brother Amnon with us?” “Why Amnon?” the king asked. 27 But Absalom kept on pressing the king until he finally agreed to let all his sons attend, including Amnon. So Absalom prepared a feast fit for a king. 28 Absalom told his men, “Wait until Amnon gets drunk; then at my signal, kill him Don’t be afraid. I’m the one who has given the command. Take courage and do it” 29 So at Absalom’s signal they murdered Amnon. Then the other sons of the king jumped on their mules and fled. 30 As they were on the way back to Jerusalem, this report reached David: “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons; not one is left alive” 31 The king got up, tore his robe, and threw himself on the ground. His advisers also tore their clothes in horror and sorrow. 32 But just then Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimea, arrived and said, “No, don’t believe that all the king’s sons have been killed It was only Amnon Absalom has been plotting this ever since Amnon raped his sister Tamar. 33 No, my lord the king, your sons aren’t all dead It was only Amnon.” 34 Meanwhile Absalom escaped. As we see in this story, Absalom let his hatred for Amnon grow for two years. Two years of playing the scene over and over again in his head. Two years of seeing the woman Tamar became, after Amnon’s act...  Read More

WARNING: Today’s topic continues with the aftermath of a story involving rape and abuse. We want to make sure you are well cared for, so if you have struggled with these things, please proceed with caution. If you are triggered in any way, or realize you need more help, you may reach out to a pastor at your local campus, or call the Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.4673. 2 Samuel 13:15-22 15 Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here” he snarled at her. 16 “No, no” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. 17 He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her” 18 So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the king’s virgin daughters. 19 But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. 20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. 22 And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister. First of all, I recognize that I am a man and can’t possibly fathom what all Tamar went through in this story, but I can tell you it breaks my heart and causes me to feel sick inside (and I do recognize that men can experience rape and sexual assault too, and I in no way want to suggest otherwise). These sick feelings are yet another reminder that these are the stories we were never meant to experience or hear...  Read More

WARNING: Today’s topic specifically deals with rape and abuse. Again, if you have struggled with these things, please proceed with caution. If you are triggered in any way, or realize you need more help, you may reach out to a pastor at your local campus, or call the Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.4673. 2 Samuel 13:8-14 8 When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. 9 But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left. 10 Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. 11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” 12 “No, my brother” she cried. “Don’t be foolish Don’t do this to me Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. 13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.” 14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. Talk about a gut punch. I hate reading this story and I really hate the horror of those last three words in verse 14. All I can think is, these kinds of things were never supposed to be a part of our story...  Read More

WARNING: This week’s topic will introduce acts of rape and abuse by family members. If you have struggled with these things, please proceed with caution. If you are triggered in any way, or realize you need more help, you may reach out to a pastor at your local campus, or call the Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.4673. Life is messy, broken, complicated, and painful. This world is not the one God designed for us back in the Garden of Eden. And though there is beauty to celebrate, there is also evil that will one day be eradicated. Whatever we have experienced or are experienced or will experience, part of the hope we share with one another is in the coming day when God Himself will announce, “[God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4, NIV) I mentioned him in week one, but I love the importance Eddie Jacku, WWII holocaust survivor, puts on hope. He says, “Hope costs us nothing, but it changes everything.” So I put my hope in Jesus, His resurrection, and in where I know our story is going even through our darkest times. And that line from Revelation 21:4, know that it’s what God wants. That’s what He’s working towards. In the meantime, we have some pretty awful stuff that was never a part of His plan for us, that we have to navigate on this earth from time to time because of evil...  Read More

The following is a guide to help facilitate discussion between you and the person you’re studying with or with your Connect Group. Feel free to add, subtract, or change questions to fit the conversation, and pray for the Spirit to lead in all things. This content may be difficult for some in your group to process together. Be sure to let your group know the topic before you meet, and give permission to anyone to bow out if they are concerned about being triggered, or who simply don’t want to talk through this particular story.  Read More