UN/Broken - Day 23
What to do When You Suspect Suicidal Thoughts - Part 2
Once you’ve established that someone is having thoughts of ending their life, and you’ve explored their plan and access to the materials needed to implement their goal, it’s time to find their strength. The reality is that they have not yet ended their life, so it’s time for you to get curious about what has kept them up to this point from acting on their thoughts.
Please list family members, friends, or pets they care about and would not want to put through such a terrible loss or that they feel responsible for caring for. Adding roles, goals, or responsibilities they still feel called to fulfill can be helpful, such as caring for a pet or a child or finishing a major project. In addition, they may fear being lost or going to hell if they commit suicide, and I would add that to this list, though we’ll talk about that another day.
I once worked with someone who chose not to hang herself because she feared what it would do to her younger sister. I made the most of the opportunity to affirm this young lady for having the where-with-all to rise above her pain enough to pay attention to the potential pain of her sibling.
Next, you need to list what soothes them—what helps them overcome the emotional hump of needing to end their lives. In my experience, individuals with SI don't desire to be dead; they’ve just lost all hope of ending their pain any other way.
So, help them make a list. What calms their troubled feelings and gets them over this emotional hump? For some, the answer will be listening to certain kinds of music. For others, it might be talking with a good friend, walking, playing a video game, reading a good book, or watching a movie. I call these activities coping mechanisms, including alcohol, cannabis, cocaine, etc. I should add that while these latter activities might not be as socially or morally acceptable, they are way better than ending one’s life!
Lastly, suppose someone is struggling with suicidal ideation. In that case, it is always wise to encourage that person to seek professional assistance through a suicide hotline, counseling, medication, or inpatient treatment.
Discussion Questions:
Please list family members, friends, or pets they care about and would not want to put through such a terrible loss or that they feel responsible for caring for. Adding roles, goals, or responsibilities they still feel called to fulfill can be helpful, such as caring for a pet or a child or finishing a major project. In addition, they may fear being lost or going to hell if they commit suicide, and I would add that to this list, though we’ll talk about that another day.
I once worked with someone who chose not to hang herself because she feared what it would do to her younger sister. I made the most of the opportunity to affirm this young lady for having the where-with-all to rise above her pain enough to pay attention to the potential pain of her sibling.
Next, you need to list what soothes them—what helps them overcome the emotional hump of needing to end their lives. In my experience, individuals with SI don't desire to be dead; they’ve just lost all hope of ending their pain any other way.
So, help them make a list. What calms their troubled feelings and gets them over this emotional hump? For some, the answer will be listening to certain kinds of music. For others, it might be talking with a good friend, walking, playing a video game, reading a good book, or watching a movie. I call these activities coping mechanisms, including alcohol, cannabis, cocaine, etc. I should add that while these latter activities might not be as socially or morally acceptable, they are way better than ending one’s life!
Lastly, suppose someone is struggling with suicidal ideation. In that case, it is always wise to encourage that person to seek professional assistance through a suicide hotline, counseling, medication, or inpatient treatment.
Discussion Questions:
- What are things in your life important enough to keep you from thoughts of ending your life when things get hard?
- What are the activities/practices that soothe you and lift your spirits when you are feeling low?
- Talk about a time when you were able to be there for someone who was going through an emotional rough patch. What was that like for you?
Richie Pruehs
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