January 9th, 2023

DAY 9
John 13:34
34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.
What does authentic love look like to you?
A discipling relationship with God and other people is a relationship where we are honest with one another, we cherish one another, and we speak words of truth over one another and into each other’s lives. Without this kind of honesty, are we really in relationships at all?
If Crosswalk is to be a community where people are living in authentic relationships with one another and with God, then it stands to reason that we must be people who are willing to love in ways that are not always comfortable, but are truthful. This can be particularly dangerous when we don’t have the trust that it requires.
What does it take to build trust?
I think trust has a few ingredients that must be present in order for it to grow. Here are the ones that I think are important:
This text tells us that love is reciprocal. How are you finding reciprocity in your authentic relationships? And how is there reciprocity with God and the relationship you have with the Creator of the Universe?
34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.
What does authentic love look like to you?
A discipling relationship with God and other people is a relationship where we are honest with one another, we cherish one another, and we speak words of truth over one another and into each other’s lives. Without this kind of honesty, are we really in relationships at all?
If Crosswalk is to be a community where people are living in authentic relationships with one another and with God, then it stands to reason that we must be people who are willing to love in ways that are not always comfortable, but are truthful. This can be particularly dangerous when we don’t have the trust that it requires.
What does it take to build trust?
I think trust has a few ingredients that must be present in order for it to grow. Here are the ones that I think are important:
- Intention. We must trust the intention of the other person. With God it is easy, in that we have a myriad of examples of God wanting what is best for us. But with one another, it can be more difficult. If we do not trust the intention of the other person in the relationship it is difficult to really be authentic.
- Listening. To have authentic relationships built on trust, we have to learn how to listen to the other person. That means really listening, not just listening to respond. It means that we have to stop our priorities and listen to hear theirs. Are you a good listener?
- Honesty. Honesty is something that goes both ways. It goes forward by the one speaking, but it is received by the one listening. If we are honest with ourselves, with God and with others, we begin to really build trust.
- Boundaries. These are important for authentic relationships as well. Without knowing your boundaries, you might get taken advantage of, but if you don’t understand other’s boundaries, you might be taking advantage of them, even if you didn’t mean to or plan to.
- Service. This may sound strange, but when we take a position that we will serve those around us, we can build that trust, as others begin to know that you don’t have other plans or agenda’s other than serving the person with whom you are building relationships.
- Reciprocity. Relationships go both ways, you shouldn’t always be the one listening, but you also shouldn’t be the only one speaking. A reciprocal relationship is important for trust.
This text tells us that love is reciprocal. How are you finding reciprocity in your authentic relationships? And how is there reciprocity with God and the relationship you have with the Creator of the Universe?
- Who are your best friends?
- What words would you use to describe your relationship with them?
- How many more of those relationships are you interested in maintaining?
- What makes you trust someone?
- How quickly is trust built?
- What can you do in order to build trust with those around you?
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2023
January
Lovewell: A Theology - Day 1Lovewell: A Theology - Day 2Lovewell: A Theology - Day 3Lovewell: A Theology - Day 4Lovewell: A Theology - Day 5Lovewell: A Theology - Day 6Lovewell: A Theology - Day 7Lovewell: A Theology - Day 8Lovewell: A Theology - Day 9Lovewell: A Theology - Day 10Lovewell: A Theology - Day 11Lovewell: A Theology - Day 12Lovewell: A Theology - Day 13Lovewell: A Theology - Day 14Lovewell: A Theology - Day 15Lovewell: A Theology - Day 16Lovewell: A Theology - Day 17Lovewell: A Theology - Day 18Lovewell: A Theology - Day 19Lovewell: A Theology - Day 20Lovewell: A Theology - Day 21Lovewell: A Theology - Day 22Lovewell: A Theology - Day 24Lovewell: A Theology - Day 23Lovewell: A Theology - Day 25Lovewell: A Theology - Day 26Lovewell: A Theology - Day 27Lovewell: A Theology - Day 28Lovewell: A Theology - Day 29Lovewell: A Theology - Day 30Lovewell: A Theology - Day 31
February
Lovewell: A Theology - Day 32Lovewell: A Theology - Day 33Lovewell: A Theology - Day 34Lovewell: A Theology - Day 35Season 1 - IntroductionUncomfortable (S1) - Day 1Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 2Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 3Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 4Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 5Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 6Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 7Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 8Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 9Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 10Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 11Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 12Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 13Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 14Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 15Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 16Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 17
March
Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 18Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 19Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 20Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 21Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 22Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 23Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 24Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 25Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 26Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 27Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 28Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 29Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 30Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 31Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 32Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 33Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 34Uncomfortable (S1) - Day 35Campus WeekAfter - Day 1After - Day 2After - Day 3After - Day 4After - Day 5After - Day 6
April
After - Day 7After - Day 8After - Day 9After - Day 10After - Day 11After - Day 12After - Day 13After - Day 14After - Day 15After - Day 16After - Day 17After - Day 18After - Day 19After - Day 20After - Day 21After - Day 22After - Day 23After - Day 24After - Day 25After - Day 26After - Day 27After - Day 28
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1 Comment
My best friend is my wife but we had not really been honest and open in our communication for sometime, and the tensions were building. out of desperation, I reached into my little education about communication and we sat down and I asked her what was she feeling? I determined not to say a word, while she was speaking, but listened, wrote down what she said and ask her if that was if that was what she said. I waited for her to say yes that’s what I said. It was the hardest thing not to comment or argue with her as she was speaking. After about an hour, she was done. Then I politely asked her if she could do the same thing for me. She at first was hesitant to do the same, but I finally got her to agree. as I was pouring out my frustrations and anger and my pain, and she was reflecting back to me what I said in writing it down it was very liberating like as if I was being born again, liberated from prison, house of anger, fear, resentment, and a deep loneliness of being not heard. It was not easy, but it had great reward. After we got finished with our active listening, she commented that “wow I guess we are equal in our frustration and anger. “ She and I have forgiven and are at peace. I wonder sometimes, if for loneliness is like a lost person in the universe of our minds, because we have as many neurons in there as our stars in the heavens. I reached out to my wife’s universe and her isolation and we made a connection between our two vastly spacious minds, and held each other’s hands in the darkness of our fear, and we found connection and we’re one again.