Elemental: S2 - Day 13

“Now all we can see of God is like a cloudy picture in a mirror. Later we will see him face to face.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

I love my wife. More impressive? She loves me. I’m still a tiny bit surprised when I think about it. Maybe it's because of my self-image during the teenage years. I thought of myself as being on that rung on the ladder just above ugly—not quite to the level of the cuteness of a pet. I didn’t believe anyone found me attractive. I was fighting to fit into high school society.

Then in college, I became a bit more secure. I met an attractive, intelligent girl named Caryl Lynn. I took some risks and fell in love. She said yes, we were married—the end.

Wait, what?

Only young, immature love could think of a wedding as the end rather than the beginning. Sure, I had distilled hours, even days of research into the informed decision to connect myself eternally to this woman. But how well could I know her in a year and a half of dating during our early twenties? It was a statement of faith on both our parts when we embarked on a life together.

This year we celebrated our 35th anniversary. We’re seasoned vets. I know Caryl Lynn better than anyone else does. But hang on a minute. I don’t want to give the wrong idea. One of the reasons I feel tingling surprise that she loves me back is that even after all these years, I blow it. I let her down, sometimes considerably. And it isn’t just that I fail to follow through with what I know she would like. It’s more complicated than that. There are days it feels like I must have skipped multiple chapters of the Caryl Lynn manual. Do I know her at all? But this is how it goes with relationships.

Sometimes we talk about God like the goal is to tackle Him to the ground, dissolve Him into an essence, and maybe download Him onto a hard drive. There, now we can explain Him. But what human is like that, let alone God? My wife certainly isn’t. And I would hate it if she were. Gone would be the sense of adventure if she were fully capturable, contained in my thinking. No, I have to show up to the relationship each day, often with surprise, to see what will happen, who she is, who we are.

So it is with relationships, ours with God, mine with Caryl Lynn. The qualitative measure will never be based on how much I know or my intellectual understanding. The standard will be the intensity of my pursuit in this gamble of love.

1. Do you have a friend who knows you better than anyone else does?
2. What is something that friend would be surprised to learn about you?
3. Who are you currently working to create a better friendship with? How are you doing that?