It's Complicated(S1) : WK 4 - TUE

14 What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.
-Psalm 55:14


We’ve included Psalm 55 in this week’s focus because as we’ll learn more about on Friday when we look at more of this passage, scholars believe this Psalm was written by David after Jonathan died in battle.

One of the complicated things about friendship is that entering into a friendship always comes with risk.  Whenever you allow someone else into your heart, it’s risky.  You risk being hurt by them if they were to betray you.  You risk losing them if they move away or die.  You risk being hurt by them in any number of ways.  So one always has to ask yourself the question, “Do you know enough about the other person that you’ve decided that friendship with them is worth the risk?” I ask couples I’m doing premarital counseling for the same question, is entering into this marriage covenant worth the risks involved, because there are no guarantees as to what may happen in life.

My dear friend, Pastor Sam Leonor, and I used to chaplain at different universities at the same time.  He was at La Sierra University, and I was at Walla Walla University.  Both schools send out students to serve as missionaries around the world; anywhere from 3 months, up to a full year.

In the process of helping a student find their call as to where they will serve, the parents of the students would inevitably get involved to help their child pick somewhere “safe.”  Sam and I would talk about the challenge of these conversations, because though somewhere may seem relatively “safe,” we couldn’t guarantee complete safety anywhere in the world.  

At one of our campus ministries conventions, I heard Sam say that there is no such thing as risk versus no risk.  Everything is a risk.  The question you have to answer is, do you have enough information to determine if the risk is worth it or not.

David took that risk with Jonathan and for many years, it paid off.  But then Jonathan was killed and David’s heart was broken.  Gone was his friend who help him in times of trouble; gone was his consistent shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen too, and gone was the person who understood him better than most. Jonathan was gone but not forgotten.  

In today’s verse, even though David is grieving the lost of his kindred friend, he is able to remember better times.  For a moment, it’s this memory that gave his heart some hope amidst his pain.

We each need these kinds of relationships in our lives.  I pray you have at least one.

  1. Who would you consider one of your best friends? How long have you known them?  What is it about them that draws you close?
  2. Have you ever lost a friendship, or love, that was near and dear to your heart?  How did you handle it?
  3. Have you ever been betrayed by someone you thought was a friend? If so, what happened and did it influence the “risks” you took in the future?

by Pastor Paddy McCoy

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