It's Complicated(S1) : WK 5 - THU

1 Samuel 18:14
David continued to succeed in everything he did, for the Lord was with him. 15 When Saul recognized this, he became even more afraid of him. 16 But all Israel and Judah loved David because he was so successful at leading his troops into battle.

I find it interesting that the word used for Saul’s emotions are not that he was “jealous,” but that he was “afraid.” How closely related are fear and jealousy? Pretty close, I think.

Have you ever dated someone who was very jealous? How did that make you feel? Did it make you feel comfortable, happy, or was it hard to deal with? Why was the person jealous?
Maybe a better question is “what did that person fear?” As that is usually the reality of someone who is jealous. They fear losing something, losing to someone, or they fear the change that might come. The problem with jealousy is that it rarely makes situations better. And by rarely, I mean never!
 
It is never a better situation when someone becomes jealous of someone else. This is the reality that David had to deal with on a daily basis. Saul was becoming more and more suspicious and jealous of what David was achieving, and so there were some real breaks in their relationship. This was not going to get more comfortable over time. It was actually going to get much worse as time went on.
 
This is the situation we all have to deal with when it comes to jealousy. It will never get better by being ignored. Rather, you need to face it head on and find a way past it, through it, or around it. However, if you cannot, the relationship is not only going to suffer, but will probably end poorly. I wish there was a better way to say this, but it is true.
 
Was David supposed to stop being successful in order to make Saul feel good? That is not a great way to move forward in situations like these. People have to come to an agreement, or the relationship will have to end, and probably end poorly. What has your experience been in situations like these?
 
So how can you stay out of these kinds of relationships?

1. Choose your partners/friends/colleagues wisely. While we can’t always choose the people we work with, we can be on the lookout for signs of fear and jealousy. 
2. Create space for everyone to succeed, and don’t take credit for something they have done. The best thing to do is give more credit away than you take for yourself. 
3. Alway be gracious. In your communication, in your help, and in your time. This will help people to know where you are coming from.